Joyful Kinako

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always enjoyed being by myself. I’m not really that fond of company for a long time, but I like it if it’s for a small period of time.

I remember, when I started school, I was a tad sad that I didn’t have any friends I could talk to in the break. But later on, it didn’t really face me. In school, when we had recess, I would most likely listen to a cd on a disk-man (that’s what they were called, wasn’t it? Damn, I’m old!) or read a book either in the corner of the classroom or in the library.  Later on I did get some friends, who I could hang out with doing recess. Mostly we would actually go to the library, so I could read or listen to music on my (new) iPod (Wohoo! Upgrade!). They would talk and I would make my input from time to time. They didn’t really seem to mind that, so that wasn’t so bad.

Then after 7^th grade I switched school. My friends weren’t happy about that, but I just wasn’t happy in the class. I was then again alone doing recess most of the time. Sometimes one of my classmates would interact with me, but that wasn’t often. I remember in 9^th grade there was a big party I wasn’t invited to, and that was mostly because I wasn’t really friends with any of my classmates. I did feel sad about it, but also a bit happy. I don’t like going to a big, wild party. I’ll just end up leaving as one of the first, because I just wouldn’t feel comfortable.  So I didn’t really have much of a social life, and that has been going on even after I finished school this June.

In the beginning of it all, I thought I was weird and didn’t belong. It was a few years ago I realized that I’m not the only one. I found that out thanks to Youtube (Damn, I’m on that site a bit too much). I also realized that I would be called an introvert, because I would feel drained when being social, but would charge up, when I was alone (the opposite of an extrovert.). And being an introvert is not bad. I know that it’s just a part of who I am, but sadly a part of it is also my social phobia, but I’m actually working on that. But no matter what it would still mean that I’m an introvert, who likes to sit in my room all by myself (and some kind of sound e.g. Music, TV, etc.) and just relax in my own way. I can be social sometimes, but not that often. And if I am social it would be in small groups, so I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed and awkward, because I wouldn’t know what to do.

But again, it’s not bad being an introvert, as it’s not bad being an extrovert. Just have to remember that!

So that was enough about me. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? (I’m curious!)